25 Merry Christmas 2017 Dirty Poems

Here we have good collection of some naughty and dirty Christmas poems 2017. These poems are especially collected for adults to have more fun on Merry Christmas 2017. You can use this poem to the person you loved in privately and lovingly manner. Dirty Christmas poems are making funny and joyful environment between close friends. You can send naughty Christmas poems to your boyfriend and girlfriend to make the Christmas Eve full of romance. Sending Christmas poems to your boss make your relation strong and happy office environment. Christmas poems make the festival of Christmas delightful and full of happiness.
Merry Christmas 2015 Dirty Poems

Dirty Merry Christmas 2017 Poems

Father And Christmas

What do a Christmas tree
And a priest have in comparison?
The answer is simple to see
Their balls are just for decoration

My Evergreens

Oh Holly and my Ivy
Of all the girls I’ve known
When they dress in the Santa gear
They really ring my bell

Tied Up With Tinsel

Have a little yuletide fun
Make it deliciously sinful
With your little Christmas hon
Tied up with tinsel

Christmas Spice

Christmas time is very nice
But if I might offer some advice
You can add a spot of yuletide spice
If you indulge in a little festive vice

Party Claus

What does Santa do after Christmas?
Well if you want to know the truth
He parties hard with Mrs. Claus
Til they melt the snow off the roof

Brandishing Your Mistletoe

It’s Christmas Eve so off you go
Start brandishing your mistletoe
March off purposely through the snow
To find yourself a Christmas ho

The Big Fella’s R & R

After circumnavigating the globe
Staring at the back end of Prancer
Santa Claus really looks forward
To watching a north pole dancer

Santa Claus Is In Trouble

Santa Claus is in trouble
He’s been up to his old tricks again
When the Christmas fairy was found
Licking his candy cane

Have A Cracking Christmas

I must definitely make sure
Her Christmas sack is full
Then if your dear is happy
Your cracker might get a pull


Naughty Merry Christmas 2017 Poems

All I Want For Christmas # 1

Well I only got a sweater for Christmas
Not the best thing to get for a dreamer
Because I got a sweater for Christmas
When I wanted a moaner or a screamer

All I Want For Christmas # 2

I don’t want a present
That’s very practical
Or a gift home made
Or something musical
Something for wearing
Thoughtful or twee
Things for the garden
Or things fragrant or smelly
Nothing expensive when
The value is shocking
I just want something shapely
In a Christmas stocking

All I Want For Christmas # 3

I only want one Christmas gift
It’s the only Christmas wish I’ve wished
I just want to know all the names
Of the girls on the naughty list

Chimney Nook

The next time you complain
At the lack of Christmas nookey
Spare a thought for old St Nick
And have a little sympathy
For he only comes but once a year
And then he’s up a chimney

Snow Show

A weather man predicted snow
But he didn’t get it right
So the female anchor on the show
Asked to our delight
“So Bob, where’s that 8 inches!
You promised me last night?”

The Office Christmas Party

All year long I fancied Lucy
But she turned out to be fickle
So I thought I’d drown my sorrows
And have a few festive tipples
But I ended up in a cupboard
With a girl with hairy nipples

It’s The Office Christmas Do

It’s the office Christmas do
So let’s have a tipple or two
We can drink the Spanish sherry
We can drink until we’re merry
Then into an office we’ll stumble
And we’ll have a Christmas fumble

Celebrating Crimbo

Some drunken bimbo
With legs akimbo
Showing off her bits
From ankle to pits
Lay in the gutter
And was heard to utter
To a fellow bimbo
Hacky crambo

A Christmas Wish

On a Christmas Eve at midnight
When I got into bed
I lay upon my pillow
And there beside my head
Was Santa with his trousers off
And this is what he said
Happy Christmas little girl
I’ve unwrapped this gift for you
So take this gift with pleasure
To make your wish come true
Because Santa comes but once a year
And tonight he comes with you

A Hand For Santa

On Christmas Eve
Don’t lay awake in bed
All you naughty girls
Blonde, brunette or red
For instead of presents
You may get a shock instead
You may catch Santa
Dressed in his suit of red
Emptying his sack
At the end of your bed

Christmas Perfection

I found the perfect Christmas gift
And that’s what I’m unwrapping
She’s five foot two, eyes of blue
Slender, tender, figuratively cracking

So it’s a happy Christmas to me
For a very obvious reason
I’ve found myself the perfect gift
That I will enjoy all of the season

Santa And Elfie

Santa and Elfie
Were caught in the buff
At it in the grotto,
Santa and his bit of stuff
The store manager
Decided to get tough
And sacked them
Saying enough was enough
Now Santa’s not jolly
In fact he’s quite gruff
As Santa’s little helper
Is now up the duff

Are You Wearing Christmas Knicks?

Are you wearing Christmas knicks?
Proper novelty underwear
All festively decked down below
In a suitably seasonal pair
It doesn’t matter the decor
It will make an old man stare
Just you in your Christmas knickers
What wonderful Christmas fare

Are You Wearing Christmas Stockings?

Are you wearing Christmas stockings?
Beneath your long red coat
Are you suitably resplendent?
Will you really float my boat?
Are they risqué and shocking?
Will they easily get my vote?
It could mean a happy Christmas
For a certain horny old goat

Are You Wearing Christmas Garters?

Are you wearing Christmas garters?
Answer me that one for starters
Beneath your dress up high
Around your black clad thigh
Where the black sheath is stopping
Where they are lacy at the topping
Are there festive garter rings
Sexily placed decorative things
Please answer this one for starters
Are you wearing Christmas garters?

Ever So Humble

When toward my bed I stumble
My wife greets me with a grumble
“Hello my little apple crumble”
I say as in her nightgown I fumble
My advances are met with a mumble
“Dearest, my desire is quite humble
A little bit of rough and tumble”
Her reply is yet another mumble
But we did have a Christmas fumble

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